"Boys Will Be Boys"

   When I was in kindergarten, boys used to chase me around the playground. I'd come home with scraped knees from tripping when I was running from them. "Oh don't worry about it, they probably just like you" was the usual response that I received from adults. You know, boys will be boys.
 
   And in second grade, when an older boy took a hand buzzer and pressed it onto my scalp, holding it there until I was on the ground, that wasn't his fault either. When I went to the teacher crying, she said "Why were you playing with the boys? Don't you know they can be rough?"
 
    In 4th grade, when a boy called me ugly and I stuck my tongue out at him, the teacher pulled me aside and I got in trouble for "teasing him like that." "That's not how a young lady acts, Bella." When I told her that he called me ugly, she said "Oh he probably just likes you. That's just how little boys say they like you."
 
   And in 5th grade, when I called my mom because a boy told me he was going to beat me up and she showed up at the school, I got detention for "starting drama." "He was just being a boy. He probably just likes you."

   What people don't understand is that those words stick. We teach young girls that aggression equals love, that boys hurt you when they like you. Girls accept pain because they've been raised to think that it's love.

   In 10th grade, when I was walking to the bathroom, a group of 5 guys followed me in, saying what they were going to do to me. I backed into a stall, terrified, and they eventually left when they saw a teacher walking down the hall.
   I went back to class crying and didn't say a word. Boys will be boys, right?

   And just recently, when a boy I liked hugged me and then punched me, leaving my arm purple, I caught myself thinking "I shouldn't have gotten that close to him. Boys are rough and I should have known better."

   Fuck that. "Boys will be boys" is not an excuse for harmful actions and it is not a justification for a young girl's pain. NO ONE SHOULD EVER HURT ANYONE. Pain should never be confused with love because the good, true, real kind of love never hurts you. I promise.
 
   I will tell every person I know, write it on walls, print out flyers, and do everything I can to make sure that people know what their words do. Please don't raise another generation of girls that accept abuse from boys because "that's just how they are". When I have a daughter, I'm going to tell her that no person should ever lay a hand on her. Stop shaming girls for being abused by boys, and stop raising boys to think that hurting a girl is okay. STOP RAISING CHILDREN TO THINK THAT EVER HURTING ANYONE IS OKAY.