"Boys Will Be Boys"

   When I was in kindergarten, boys used to chase me around the playground. I'd come home with scraped knees from tripping when I was running from them. "Oh don't worry about it, they probably just like you" was the usual response that I received from adults. You know, boys will be boys.
 
   And in second grade, when an older boy took a hand buzzer and pressed it onto my scalp, holding it there until I was on the ground, that wasn't his fault either. When I went to the teacher crying, she said "Why were you playing with the boys? Don't you know they can be rough?"
 
    In 4th grade, when a boy called me ugly and I stuck my tongue out at him, the teacher pulled me aside and I got in trouble for "teasing him like that." "That's not how a young lady acts, Bella." When I told her that he called me ugly, she said "Oh he probably just likes you. That's just how little boys say they like you."
 
   And in 5th grade, when I called my mom because a boy told me he was going to beat me up and she showed up at the school, I got detention for "starting drama." "He was just being a boy. He probably just likes you."

   What people don't understand is that those words stick. We teach young girls that aggression equals love, that boys hurt you when they like you. Girls accept pain because they've been raised to think that it's love.

   In 10th grade, when I was walking to the bathroom, a group of 5 guys followed me in, saying what they were going to do to me. I backed into a stall, terrified, and they eventually left when they saw a teacher walking down the hall.
   I went back to class crying and didn't say a word. Boys will be boys, right?

   And just recently, when a boy I liked hugged me and then punched me, leaving my arm purple, I caught myself thinking "I shouldn't have gotten that close to him. Boys are rough and I should have known better."

   Fuck that. "Boys will be boys" is not an excuse for harmful actions and it is not a justification for a young girl's pain. NO ONE SHOULD EVER HURT ANYONE. Pain should never be confused with love because the good, true, real kind of love never hurts you. I promise.
 
   I will tell every person I know, write it on walls, print out flyers, and do everything I can to make sure that people know what their words do. Please don't raise another generation of girls that accept abuse from boys because "that's just how they are". When I have a daughter, I'm going to tell her that no person should ever lay a hand on her. Stop shaming girls for being abused by boys, and stop raising boys to think that hurting a girl is okay. STOP RAISING CHILDREN TO THINK THAT EVER HURTING ANYONE IS OKAY. 

Why I Decided I'm Okay With Being Different

   So recently, I was getting ready for prom, and I really just wanted a simple, plain look. Now I would by no means consider myself a plain person, but I do find myself rather simple, therefore I did not want some ridiculous updo or tons of makeup because that's just not me. I generally don't wear a lot of makeup, and I often wear my hair naturally, down and curly like God gave it to me. I also don't like to stick out-at least not because of my looks-because I already stick out like a sore thumb at school and even in my own family because of my fair skin and blonde hair. Asking for a simple hairstyle and light makeup was also just me trying to avoid getting even more attention for looking different than anyone else.
   Of course, this plan did not work out. (My plans rarely do.) The prom's theme was "Roaring 20's" and my hairstylist had a very different idea than me. The updo that I did not want was exactly what she gave me. On top of this, she gave me a bright red lip while doing my makeup. Now don't get me wrong, I love the way I looked now, looking back at pictures. But when I got home, I cried. No one else had their hair done like that and I felt like I was wearing a mask with all the makeup I had on. I cried, not because I looked bad, but because it wasn't what I wanted. I definitely stood out, but it wasn't in a bad way at all, something that I understand now. But, like I said before, I did not feel that way the night of prom.
   We got to prom and walked in, and all the girls I saw had their hair down. I started feeling ridiculously insecure-one of my defining characteristics- and I wanted to hide. People were looking at me. A lot of people were looking at me. And what were they saying? "Oh my god, I love your hair!" "Who did your hair?" "It's so cool that you did your hair like that!" "I love that red lipstick on you!"
   Once again, my insecurities tricked me and made me think I looked weird, when in reality, I looked awesome and fierce. And now that I look at the pictures, I'm so glad I kept my hair like that and left all the makeup on. I've always known that I'm different, ever since elementary school. But now I'm starting to think that I like it. One of my favorite things to say is "No one ever got anywhere by being exactly like everyone else." I'm definitely going somewhere.

Why I Refuse To Participate In The Ice Bucket Challenge

   I am in no way saying that I do not support the efforts to raise money for ALS. I think the ice bucket challenge is very creative way to get people to donate-nothing is more appealing than making all your friends dump cold water on themselves. A lot of money has been raised, and that's really an incredible thing.
   My problem with this ice bucket challenge is that it's wasteful. Donating the money is amazing, but you are wasting a whole bucket of cold, clean water on yourself. There are so many people in this world that don't even have a bucket of clean water for their family to drink. So I respect the goal of this challenge, but instead of dumping an entire bucket of water on myself because it sounds fun, I am going to donate to ALS, and I'm also going to make a donation towards giving clean water to a family in need. Take a second to think about the effects of what you're doing before you do it.

   You can donate clean water to a family in need here: http://www.compassion.com/catalog/goc-category-water.htm
You can donate to ALS here: http://www.alsa.org/donate/